financial huddle

Avoid Money Fights with a Weekly Financial Huddle

Household vs. Personal Finance

Most tips and suggestions for better personal financial management fail because more than half of American adults share financial responsibilities with another adult. If you are married, you already know that money management is not a personal but a household thing.

Successful household financial management requires two adults to work together on money issues, not separately.

A weekly financial huddle between two spouses or partners is the best solution for getting them both on the same financial page and harnessing their strengths for the best results.

The Household Money Problem

Search the Internet for tips and tricks to make money management easier and more successful, and you will find no end to the great ideas people have come up with to improve personal finances. Typically, such recommendations and tools come in the following three categories to improve your personal financial behaviors:

  1. Commitments

  2. Theories and practical ideas

  3. Educational programs

Household Financial Management Is More than the Combination of Two Views of Personal Finances

Most recommendations have to do with personal finances. They fail to address the added relationship aspect in household finances.

According to the US Census Bureau, over half of American adults are in a married or non-married, committed relationship. That means that most American adults share their household financial responsibilities with other adults. More than half of American adults do not have personal finances.

It is no wonder, then, that we blame money for so many divorces and breakups. In reality, money is just a tool to help us get what we want. Couples usually do not argue about the tool. They argue about how to use the tool and what they want to build with the tool. When your financial goals differ from your partner’s goals, you are bound to argue and get frustrated.

Household financial goals, mutually agreed upon and written down, are the surest way to minimize arguments about money in a marriage.

The Huddle Is the Answer

Fortunately, there is a simple answer to taking care of most money problems between spouses and partners. It is the Weekly Financial Huddle, and it takes just 10 to 15 minutes a week after a little preparation work.

Before the Huddle:

  1. Agree with your spouse or partner to meet at the same time on the same day every week

  2. One of you needs to balance the bill-paying account (cash, checking, debit, or pre-paid) ahead of time

  3. Discuss financial goals that you can both agree upon, such as vacations, retirement, homeownership, debt freedom, etc. Write down one to three goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART goals). Post the goal(s) in the place where you will hold your weekly huddle.

During the Weekly Huddle:

  1. Briefly review your household financial goals (1 minute)

  2. Note the current balance available in your cash account (1 to 2 minutes)

  3. Identify the bills due in the coming two weeks and determine which spouse or partner will make the payment and whether you will pay them with cash, debit, check, online, etc. (1 to 5 minutes)

  4. Ask each other: what can we do this week to set aside an additional $5, $25, $50, or $100 toward our household financial goals? (1 to 2 minutes)

That is it. Simple! With these four easy steps, you have become a household financial team rather than two individuals dealing with personal finance issues.

Want to Expand Your Huddle?

If you want to take the huddle to the next step, you can add 2 or 3 minutes for one or both of you to share a personal finance recommendation or tip you read of or heard about during the week. If you choose this direction, follow these guidelines:

  • Share your thoughts from the point of view of, “I thought this was interesting,” rather than, “YOU will find this interesting.”

  • Do not tell your spouse or partner he or she needs to use this idea or tool

  • Only add this section if both spouses agree upfront and on a continuing basis

The danger to sharing practical ideas and tools is that you might sound preachy. Adults do not learn the same way children and teens do. If your partner or spouse thinks the idea might work, he or she will adapt to it. Feeling forced will create resentment and lead to the end of your weekly huddles.

What’s Next?

Not sure how to invite your significant other to your first household financial huddle?

Share this link with them!

Happy Huddling!

About the Author

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Disclosure to Client for HUD Housing Counseling Services

Debt Reduction Services, Inc. and its financial education arm, Money Fit by DRS, offer the following housing counseling and educational services related to housing, personal finance, and bankruptcy certificates to consumers:
  • Housing Education Courses: DRS offers many online self-guided education programs classified as Financial, Budgeting, and Credit Workshops (FBC), Fair Housing Pre-Purchase Education Workshops (FHW), Homelessness Prevention Workshops (HMW), Non-Delinquency Post Purchase Workshops (NDW), Predatory Lending Education Workshops (PLW), Pre-purchase Homebuyer Education Workshops (PPW), and Rental Housing Workshops (RHW). These courses help participants increase their knowledge of and skills in personal finance, including home affordability, budgeting, and understanding the use of credit, as well as predatory lending, loan scams, and other fraud prevention topics, fair housing, rental topics, pre-purchase homebuyer education, non-delinquency post-purchase topics including home maintenance and/or financial management for homeowners, homeless prevention workshop, and other workshops not listed above relating to personal finance and housing. Course details are found below under “Housing Workshops.”
  • Home Equity Conversation Mortgage (HECM) Counseling (RMC): Via telephone and virtual platforms, we offer the required HECM counseling nationwide in addition to in-person counseling in Boise, Idaho. We also offer in-home counseling options in thirty counties across southern Idaho for an additional fee to cover our travel and additional staff time costs.
  • Home Maintenance and Financial Management for Homeowners (Non-Delinquency Post-Purchase) (FBC): Clients receive counseling and materials on the proper maintenance of their home and mortgage refinancing. Clients can find help and resources by phone, in our Boise office, or virtually on all topics related to stabilizing their long-term homeownership.
  • Services for Homeless Counseling (HMC): Clients receive phone, virtual, or in-person (Boise) counseling to evaluate their current housing needs, identify barriers to and goals for housing stability, establish a path to self-sufficiency, and connect with emergency shelters, income-appropriate housing, and/or other community resources (e.g. mental healthcare, job training, transportation, etc.).
  • Pre-Purchase Counseling (PPC): Clients receive counseling through the entire homebuying process. Assistance may involve creating a sustainable household budget, understanding mortgage options, building their credit rating, and putting together a realistic action plan to set and achieve homeownership goals.  Additionally, clients will receive materials and resources about home inspections and other homeownership topics relevant to successfully maintaining a home.
  • Rental Housing Counseling (RHC): Via phone, in-person appointments (Boise, ID), or virtual platforms, clients receive housing counseling relevant to renting, including rent subsidies from HUD or other government and assistance programs. Topics can also address issues and concerns having to do with fair housing, landlord and tenant laws, lease terms, rent delinquency, household budgeting, and finding alternate housing.
DRS also offers the following services:
  • A Debt Management Program (DMP) for consumers struggling to pay their credit cards, collections, medical debts, personal loans, old utility bills, and past-due cell phone accounts;
  • The Budget Briefing and Debtor Education Certificates that are required during the Bankruptcy filing process;
  • A Student Loan Repayment Plan Counseling and application service.

Relationships with Industry Partners

Through such services, DRS has established financial relationships with hundreds of banks, credit unions, and creditors such as American Express, Bank of America, Barclays, Capital One, Chase, Citibank, Credit One, Discover, Synchrony, US Bank, USAA, Wells Fargo, and others.

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The client is not obligated to receive, purchase or utilize any other services offered by DRS or its exclusive partners to receive financial education or housing counseling services. Alternatives: As a condition of our counseling services, in alignment with meeting our client services goals, and in compliance with HUD’s Housing Counseling Program requirements, we may provide information on alternative services, programs, and products available to you, if applicable and known by our staff. Alternative DMP services include negotiating better repayment terms directly with your individual creditors, paying your debts as agreed, or, in extreme cases, filing for personal bankruptcy. Alternative credit and education services can be found through MyMoney.gov or the Jump$tart Clearinghouse of online financial education resources. Housing counseling alternatives can be found through HUD at www.hud.gov/findacounselor.
Finally, you understand that you may revoke consent to these disclosures by notifying DRS in writing.

Housing Counseling and Education Fee Schedule

 

Online Education Program Fees*

Homebuyer Education Course: $59 per participant

  • Self-paced course available here, our online housing counseling and education center. Certificates will be automatically generated upon completion of the course (approximately 6-8 hours)

RentalFair HousingPredatory Lending / HOEPAPost-Purchase (Non-delinquency post-purchase workshop, including home maintenance and/or financial management for homeowners) Online Workshops: $49 per participant

  • Approximately 1 hour each

Other Self-Guided Financial Literacy Webinars (e.g. creditbudgetinghomeless preventiondebt prevention): $0

One-on-one Counseling Fees*

Pre-purchase Homebuying Counseling, Rental Counseling, Post-purchase Ownership Maintenance and Financial Management: $75

  • Session by the hour

Reverse Mortgage/HECM Counseling with Required Certificate:

  • $200†

Credit Report Fee: Paid Directly by Client

*Fees for all but our online education courses and workshops can be paid online by debit card, credit card, or PayPal or in person by cash, check or money order to: “Debt Reduction Services, Inc.” Registration fees are non-refundable 24 hours or less before the start of an in-person course or workshop. Certificates are non-transferable

*Fees may be waived for households with income of 150% or less of that identified on the US Department of Health and Human Services Poverty Guidelines Page

†Home visit counseling is available in 30 southern Idaho counties for potential HECM borrowers at additional costs to cover our travel (IRS reimbursement rates apply) and staff time ($50 per hour or fraction there).

Housing Counseling and Education Fee Schedule

 

Online Education Program Fees*

Homebuyer Education Course: $59 per participant

  • Self-paced course available here, our online housing counseling and education center. Certificates will be automatically generated upon completion of the course (approximately 6-8 hours)

RentalFair HousingPredatory Lending / HOEPAPost-Purchase (Non-delinquency post-purchase workshop, including home maintenance and/or financial management for homeowners) Online Workshops: $49 per participant

  • Approximately 1 hour each

Other Self-Guided Financial Literacy Webinars (e.g. creditbudgetinghomeless preventiondebt prevention): $0

One-on-one Counseling Fees*

Pre-purchase Homebuying Counseling, Rental Counseling, Post-purchase Ownership Maintenance and Financial Management: $75

  • Session by the hour

Reverse Mortgage/HECM Counseling with Required Certificate:

  • $200†

Credit Report Fee: Paid Directly by Client

*Fees for all but our online education courses and workshops can be paid online by debit card, credit card, or PayPal or in person by cash, check or money order to: “Debt Reduction Services, Inc.” Registration fees are non-refundable 24 hours or less before the start of an in-person course or workshop. Certificates are non-transferable

*Fees may be waived for households with income of 150% or less of that identified on the US Department of Health and Human Services Poverty Guidelines Page

†Home visit counseling is available in 30 southern Idaho counties for potential HECM borrowers at additional costs to cover our travel (IRS reimbursement rates apply) and staff time ($50 per hour or fraction there).