Pays to be Single

It Pays to Be Single: The Anti-Valentine

Valentine’s Day Thoughts for Singles: The Anti-Valentine

The commercialization of romance and love leading up to February 14th can be enough to sour just about anyone on the day’s celebrations. If you are single and not in a romantic relationship, you may still find several reasons to celebrate the day, if for different reasons.

What can singles celebrate on Valentine’s Day?

Anyone not in a romantic relationship can still find joy on Valentine’s Day each year, celebrating money and time saved for personal priorities rather than feeling artificially forced into purchasing cards for or giving candies and bouquets to loved ones.

Debunking the Pessimism of Valentine’s Day

Many mistakenly believe that Valentine’s Day is the relatively recent creation of an American greeting card company, which would naturally add to the feelings of the day’s artificiality. If such were the case, it would be easily justified to hold both the companies and the holiday itself in contempt for mocking love, romance, and genuinely close relationships.

In truth, however, the origins of Valentine’s Day go back nearly 2,000 years when Romans celebrated Lupercalia in the middle of February as a festival of fertility.

Over six centuries ago, none other than Geoffrey Chaucer, author of the Canterbury Tales, referred several times to Valentine’s Day in his poem, The Parliament of Fowls, after which it became more common to refer to someone you love as a Valentine in February.

Pays to be Single

 

“For this was on Saint Valentine’s day, When every fowl comes there his mate to take, Of every species that men know, I say, And then so huge a crowd did they make, That earth and sea, and tree, and every lake Was so full, that there was scarcely space For me to stand, so full was all the place. And as Alain, in his Complaint of Nature, Describes her array and paints her face, In such array might men there find her. So this noble Empress, full of grace, Bade every fowl to take its proper place As they were wont to do from year to year, On Saint Valentine’s day, standing there.”

– Geoffrey Chaucer, The Parliament of Fowls

 

Just fifty years later, the Duke d’Orleans, imprisoned in the Tower of London, wrote his own Valentine’s poem to his wife in 1415.

As for Valentine’s Day greeting cards, Americans were sending their own homemade cards to each other as far back as the 1700s, centuries before the founding of any major greeting card company.

Celebrating Valentine’s Day Love If You Are Single

For some individuals who are not in a romantic relationship, Valentine’s Day might create feelings of loneliness or even rejection. Such emotions are common to the human experience in general regarding dating, love, even some marriages, and certainly divorces.

Although not meant as replacements for the strength and comfort that can be found in stable and loving relationships, the following ideas may help singles find something positive to celebrate on the day of roses and poems.

Celebrate Love with No Emotional Pressure

There is a strong cultural undercurrent to Valentine’s Day that is pushing back at its commercialization and the feelings of forced expressions of romance. The phrase, “If you love someone, shouldn’t you show them every day and not just on February 14” encapsulates this push back against the pressure to purchase a greeting card, buy and deliver flowers, make reservations at a highly-priced, upscale, and overcrowded restaurant, and buy tickets to popular movies, plays, and concerts.

If you are among a large number of individuals not in or even seeking to be in a romantic relationship, you can still celebrate Valentine’s Day knowing you have no such tensions pulling on your emotions this year.

Celebrate Love for Time Not Waiting in Line

Everyone who has ever taken their Valentine out to dinner on Valentine’s Day evening, particularly if the day falls on a Friday or Saturday, knows that standing in line and waiting for a table will take up a large part of the evening’s activities. Regardless of the reason, waiting in lines is no one’s idea of a fun time.

This year and any Valentine’s Day, singles can celebrate the fact they have 30 to 60 minutes of their life they need not stand in line next to 23 couples they have never met or plan to meet again. Time is a finite resource, so you have no need to waste it this year.

Celebrate Love for your Financial Priorities

Skyrocketing prices for roses, gift cards that now sing or tell jokes, meals at fancy restaurants, gifts from boutique shops, and treats from trendy bakeries can easily add up to hundreds of dollars in Valentine’s Day costs. Quite often, the spender had not saved for these expenses and paid for them with money that was meant for some other priority.

For singles, this means less money on credit cards and more money applied to top priorities. Money isn’t everything, but debt feels empty. Enjoy a fuller wallet this year.

Celebrate Love for Your Own Health

There is no end to the variety and amount of treats available for purchase on Valentine’s Day, few of which provide any necessary nutrition for our bodies. Additionally, dining out means being served a meal that can easily contain 100% to 150% of your daily calorie count on a single dinner plate, not to mention the dessert trolley passing your way.

While more and more healthy-fare restaurants are gaining in popularity, most couples are unlikely to choose them as a destination to celebrate their love.

This year and every year, singles can celebrate healthy eating at home or at a favorite healthy destination eatery.

Celebrate Those You Love

Singles can easily celebrate their love for those in their lives they truly appreciate and care for. While Valentine’s Day still carries more than a strong hint of romance, it is both perfectly acceptable and perfectly normal to express Valentine’s Day wishes to close family members and friends.

If so inspired, singles can just as well mail greeting cards, send emoji-laden text messages, post-Valentine’s Day love messages and offer other expressions of love and appreciation to those in their closest circles. Sending and receiving such manifestations of love and concern lift the hearts of all involved, regardless of the date.

Celebrate Those Who Love Each Other

Most singles and those who have been single do not begrudge those who celebrate Valentine’s Day with a special someone. Wishing couples joy and happiness on Valentine’s Day is a great way to strengthen bonds in families and among friends.

Even for those who may wish for a romantic relationship to celebrate on Valentine’s (and admittedly not all singles do), sending expressions of thoughtful hopes for happiness never falls on the wrong day of the year. In fact, a study released in 2019 found that wishing others well have a positive effect on the well-wisher’s own emotional state. Among the positive consequences of wishing others happiness are greater feelings of connectedness, greater happiness, and lower anxiety.

So, go ahead and make your own day by wishing a romantic couple a happy Valentine’s. It’s not selfish. It’s nature’s way of spreading cheer to all who want to participate.

Happy Valentine’s to the Anti-Valentine’s Crowd

Given the debunking of the theory of Valentine’s artificial origin as well as the positive effects anyone can gain from celebrating love on February 14th, shouldn’t you reconsider your feelings toward the day? While you certainly need not spend money on cards, flowers, and meals you feel are not authentic to the way you feel, offering wishes of happiness and love to couples on Valentine’s Day may just turn out to boost your own positive emotional well-being.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all!

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Disclosure to Client for HUD Housing Counseling Services

Debt Reduction Services, Inc. and its financial education arm, Money Fit by DRS, offer the following housing counseling and educational services related to housing, personal finance, and bankruptcy certificates to consumers:
  • Housing Education Courses: DRS offers many online self-guided education programs classified as Financial, Budgeting, and Credit Workshops (FBC), Fair Housing Pre-Purchase Education Workshops (FHW), Homelessness Prevention Workshops (HMW), Non-Delinquency Post Purchase Workshops (NDW), Predatory Lending Education Workshops (PLW), Pre-purchase Homebuyer Education Workshops (PPW), and Rental Housing Workshops (RHW). These courses help participants increase their knowledge of and skills in personal finance, including home affordability, budgeting, and understanding the use of credit, as well as predatory lending, loan scams, and other fraud prevention topics, fair housing, rental topics, pre-purchase homebuyer education, non-delinquency post-purchase topics including home maintenance and/or financial management for homeowners, homeless prevention workshop, and other workshops not listed above relating to personal finance and housing. Course details are found below under “Housing Workshops.”
  • Home Equity Conversation Mortgage (HECM) Counseling (RMC): Via telephone and virtual platforms, we offer the required HECM counseling nationwide in addition to in-person counseling in Boise, Idaho. We also offer in-home counseling options in thirty counties across southern Idaho for an additional fee to cover our travel and additional staff time costs.
  • Home Maintenance and Financial Management for Homeowners (Non-Delinquency Post-Purchase) (FBC): Clients receive counseling and materials on the proper maintenance of their home and mortgage refinancing. Clients can find help and resources by phone, in our Boise office, or virtually on all topics related to stabilizing their long-term homeownership.
  • Services for Homeless Counseling (HMC): Clients receive phone, virtual, or in-person (Boise) counseling to evaluate their current housing needs, identify barriers to and goals for housing stability, establish a path to self-sufficiency, and connect with emergency shelters, income-appropriate housing, and/or other community resources (e.g. mental healthcare, job training, transportation, etc.).
  • Pre-Purchase Counseling (PPC): Clients receive counseling through the entire homebuying process. Assistance may involve creating a sustainable household budget, understanding mortgage options, building their credit rating, and putting together a realistic action plan to set and achieve homeownership goals.  Additionally, clients will receive materials and resources about home inspections and other homeownership topics relevant to successfully maintaining a home.
  • Rental Housing Counseling (RHC): Via phone, in-person appointments (Boise, ID), or virtual platforms, clients receive housing counseling relevant to renting, including rent subsidies from HUD or other government and assistance programs. Topics can also address issues and concerns having to do with fair housing, landlord and tenant laws, lease terms, rent delinquency, household budgeting, and finding alternate housing.
DRS also offers the following services:
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  • A Student Loan Repayment Plan Counseling and application service.

Relationships with Industry Partners

Through such services, DRS has established financial relationships with hundreds of banks, credit unions, and creditors such as American Express, Bank of America, Barclays, Capital One, Chase, Citibank, Credit One, Discover, Synchrony, US Bank, USAA, Wells Fargo, and others.

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The client is not obligated to receive, purchase or utilize any other services offered by DRS or its exclusive partners to receive financial education or housing counseling services. Alternatives: As a condition of our counseling services, in alignment with meeting our client services goals, and in compliance with HUD’s Housing Counseling Program requirements, we may provide information on alternative services, programs, and products available to you, if applicable and known by our staff. Alternative DMP services include negotiating better repayment terms directly with your individual creditors, paying your debts as agreed, or, in extreme cases, filing for personal bankruptcy. Alternative credit and education services can be found through MyMoney.gov or the Jump$tart Clearinghouse of online financial education resources. Housing counseling alternatives can be found through HUD at www.hud.gov/findacounselor.
Finally, you understand that you may revoke consent to these disclosures by notifying DRS in writing.

Housing Counseling and Education Fee Schedule

 

Online Education Program Fees*

Homebuyer Education Course: $59 per participant

  • Self-paced course available here, our online housing counseling and education center. Certificates will be automatically generated upon completion of the course (approximately 6-8 hours)

RentalFair HousingPredatory Lending / HOEPAPost-Purchase (Non-delinquency post-purchase workshop, including home maintenance and/or financial management for homeowners) Online Workshops: $49 per participant

  • Approximately 1 hour each

Other Self-Guided Financial Literacy Webinars (e.g. creditbudgetinghomeless preventiondebt prevention): $0

One-on-one Counseling Fees*

Pre-purchase Homebuying Counseling, Rental Counseling, Post-purchase Ownership Maintenance and Financial Management: $75

  • Session by the hour

Reverse Mortgage/HECM Counseling with Required Certificate:

  • $200†

Credit Report Fee: Paid Directly by Client

*Fees for all but our online education courses and workshops can be paid online by debit card, credit card, or PayPal or in person by cash, check or money order to: “Debt Reduction Services, Inc.” Registration fees are non-refundable 24 hours or less before the start of an in-person course or workshop. Certificates are non-transferable

*Fees may be waived for households with income of 150% or less of that identified on the US Department of Health and Human Services Poverty Guidelines Page

†Home visit counseling is available in 30 southern Idaho counties for potential HECM borrowers at additional costs to cover our travel (IRS reimbursement rates apply) and staff time ($50 per hour or fraction there).

Housing Counseling and Education Fee Schedule

 

Online Education Program Fees*

Homebuyer Education Course: $59 per participant

  • Self-paced course available here, our online housing counseling and education center. Certificates will be automatically generated upon completion of the course (approximately 6-8 hours)

RentalFair HousingPredatory Lending / HOEPAPost-Purchase (Non-delinquency post-purchase workshop, including home maintenance and/or financial management for homeowners) Online Workshops: $49 per participant

  • Approximately 1 hour each

Other Self-Guided Financial Literacy Webinars (e.g. creditbudgetinghomeless preventiondebt prevention): $0

One-on-one Counseling Fees*

Pre-purchase Homebuying Counseling, Rental Counseling, Post-purchase Ownership Maintenance and Financial Management: $75

  • Session by the hour

Reverse Mortgage/HECM Counseling with Required Certificate:

  • $200†

Credit Report Fee: Paid Directly by Client

*Fees for all but our online education courses and workshops can be paid online by debit card, credit card, or PayPal or in person by cash, check or money order to: “Debt Reduction Services, Inc.” Registration fees are non-refundable 24 hours or less before the start of an in-person course or workshop. Certificates are non-transferable

*Fees may be waived for households with income of 150% or less of that identified on the US Department of Health and Human Services Poverty Guidelines Page

†Home visit counseling is available in 30 southern Idaho counties for potential HECM borrowers at additional costs to cover our travel (IRS reimbursement rates apply) and staff time ($50 per hour or fraction there).